Regret and Sorrow
by Neon25
Summary: The rise and fall of his chest showed her he was still alive, and that was all she needed to go on.


Bianca peered into the room with sorrow in her eyes. She wasn't blind to the amount of pain one person could bring another – physically or otherwise. Some of it she knew firsthand, but she would be the last to admit it.

In a way, she was glad that Drew had forced an answer out of her. It was as if a small portion of weight was lifted off her shoulders. However, it was soon replaced with a much heavier weight. Bianca was in love with Drew. It was scary, but true. Telling him about Vince, in the long run, had proved to be stupid and irrational. What bothered her was that she knew that when she told him to begin with. It was silly, but when she opened up, for only that spilt second, she thought that maybe all the pressure and danger would disappear.

She was wrong.

When she arrived at prom, Bianca had definitely felt out of place. There was no one there that she wanted to dance alongside, other than Drew. But he was unavailable. She hated it, but knew that if her and Drew ever rekindled things, it could end fatally. Sure, the police had all the information and Mrs. Torres was willing to help her with lawyers, but guys like Vince always found loopholes.

Bianca's biggest regret of the night was now lying on a hospital bed, sleeping. She sighed out loud. A few hours ago, just after day break, she, Drew, and Katie had all visited Adam. It was obvious that Drew felt like the whole thing was his fault, but Bianca knew better. His mom had even said it: it was Bianca's own fault.

The previous night had started off badly. Seeing Drew dance and charm another girl was hurtful, especially after she admitted her feelings to him earlier. Deep down, she wished that he would come back to her, but that wouldn't happen.

In her fantasy world, where Vince and his thugs didn't exist, it would've been her dancing and swaying with Drew. Even though that didn't happen, Bianca was having fun until Vince showed up. Having fun with Adam, of all people.

At first, asking him to dance was just in reaction to Drew getting up with Katie and dancing with her. Bianca was not about to let Katie ruin her night. But dancing with him brought back old memories of earlier in the school year, back when Adam broke down her walls and flirted with her by her locker. Dancing with him brought her back to when she actually liked him.

That, of course, had changed after she ripped open his shirt. Ever since that day, ever since she found out what type of bullying lie ahead for him, Bianca had regretted taunting him and being a bitch to him. It was instinct to do so, but it still upset her. And last night, after she heard the gunshots go off and saw Adam on the ground, Bianca thought she would never get the chance to talk to him.

Earlier in the night, she had apologized for not letting him be her dance partner. It wasn't a real apology for everything that happened between them, but something told her that they both knew it was. That thought made her smile. The lingering thought in her mind was that she might never actually be forgiven. Everyone knew it was Bianca that towed Vince to prom, although she still didn't know how he had known she would be there. Everyone included Adam.

Seeing him in the hospital was surreal. It was a reminder to Bianca of just how far she's come this year. At the start, Bianca was the slutty bitch, but now, Bianca felt vulnerable.

She looked down at her red prom dress. She hadn't bothered to change out of it after last night. Bianca found herself walking into Adam's hospital room mindlessly. Next to his bed, Bianca stood thinking. There was something about Adam getting shot that hurt her. Yes, it hurt because Drew was crying out loud in hurt and pain. But there was definitely more. Bianca felt hopeless and lost. There was a sense of necessity that she suddenly felt when looking down at Adam's sleeping form.

Her eyes found their way to Adam's bullet wound.

"This wasn't supposed to happen," Bianca said just above a whisper. None of this was. Part of her wanted to blame Anson and Vince for all of this. They were the ones who started this. But that wasn't true. It was her. Bianca's past had caught up with her and was impacting her life now.

Tears started forming in her eyes. She stepped closer to Adam's bed and leaned over him. Her hand found his and she intertwined her fingers with his. Last night, he had shown her how to live again. And now, here he was.

If Bianca could take it all back she would. From the beginning. She wouldn't have harassed Adam. She wouldn't have helped Drew cheat. She wouldn't have gotten Drew involved in her life. She wouldn't have gotten Drew beat up and paranoid. But most of all, she wouldn't have gotten Adam shot.

Bianca stood silent; listening to Adam's even breathing, thankful to hear that sound. The rhythm of his soft breathing fell in line with the beating of her heart, and, for the first time in a long time, Bianca finally felt safe.

With her free hand, Bianca pushed Adam's hair back off his forehead. He hadn't asked for any of this. No one had. And yet she had brought it upon them without thinking about it. Adam was only a sophomore, a sixteen year old. He didn't deserve this. Adam had only ever been cordial and flirtatious. Now he had a hole in his shoulder with her named burned in it.

"I'm sorry," Bianca said to him. One day, she hoped he'd forgive her, maybe even start over. That day probably wouldn't come for a long time, if ever, but nothing would stop her from hoping.

Bianca pressed her soft lips to Adam's. There was no lust, there was no urgency, there was only serenity and peacefulness accompanied by gratefulness and regret. Something about the way her fingers fit between his and the way her lips formed to his perfectly flashed her mind to thoughts of what could've happened to him. But the rise and fall of his chest showed her he was alive, and that was all she needed to go on.


End file.
